Dear "Whoever you are who sends me junk mail",
Thank you for thinking about me. It’s always nice to get mail this time of year. We don’t know each other, do we? I ask because my name and address are typed on all of the enclosed forms. Generally speaking, I prefer to offer my “headstone information” to people I do business with or at least to people who don’t p!ss me off, and I generally reserve its use completely around people I do not know.
You are shifting very quickly from “people I do not know” to “people who p!ss me off”. Although I have no indebtedness to your company, I am feeling festive, and I must share a money saving tip, expecting nothing in return, because that is what giving is all about. I can save you the cost of future postage on mailings to me, because there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell, not even a wee tiny tiny iota of a shadow of a chance, that I will do business with anyone who has made a choice to use my name and address on a bulk mail application form without my permission.
Thank you for thinking about me. It’s always nice to get mail this time of year. We don’t know each other, do we? I ask because my name and address are typed on all of the enclosed forms. Generally speaking, I prefer to offer my “headstone information” to people I do business with or at least to people who don’t p!ss me off, and I generally reserve its use completely around people I do not know.
You are shifting very quickly from “people I do not know” to “people who p!ss me off”. Although I have no indebtedness to your company, I am feeling festive, and I must share a money saving tip, expecting nothing in return, because that is what giving is all about. I can save you the cost of future postage on mailings to me, because there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell, not even a wee tiny tiny iota of a shadow of a chance, that I will do business with anyone who has made a choice to use my name and address on a bulk mail application form without my permission.
Your friend
Roger
Roger
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